Plate Full Of Dissidia
by aStRalBlaSt
Summary: Lightning and her council members were given a task to conduct a play with several students of their school. And after that said play, they decided to create a club to continue their blossoming friendship and enjoyed the rest of their high school lives together. RANDOMNESS AND SHAMELESS PUNS AHEAD.
1. Elections, Recruitments and Play

"Congratulations on winning the elections!" The old man clapped and stood up to shake hands. "And for your first work as a Student Council President, I want you to conduct a…."

Few weeks ago before the elections results came up, a student was sneakily walking his way through the corridor when he suddenly bump onto something. The object fell and made a huge crash sound. His face started to look pale and cold sweat started to drip on his face.

"This is not good." He said while running away from **it **in fear. "I have nothing to do with it." He exclaimed while running along the corridor.

"What's up with him?" The short kid said to the girl beside her while they saw the guy shouting and running away from something.

"I think Tidus had a fight with his father again." The girl said and smiled.

"Tidus… I got to remember that na-" He got interrupted when he bump into someone in front him. "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?" He shouted and pointed to the man in front him.

"Huh?" The guy turned to him and seemed very pissed off.

The kid gulped and shielded the girl beside her.

"Luneth!"

While a fight had just begun on the hallway, a couple of students on a certain classroom were doing their duties by cleaning their classroom. A tall guy with a recognizable scar on his face was silently sweeping the floor while his classmate with a weird feather as a keychain was talking to one of their classmates –neglecting his duties.

"So Tifa doesn't remember that you were a friend of hers when you were young?" He asked the blonde spiky guy sulking at the corner of the room. The guy didn't replied but he nodded silently. "That's harsh man." He said as he showed his sympathy.

"Bartz stop asking and start cleaning!"

"But Squall…."

"But nothing!" Squall smashed the broom at the floor and glared at Bartz.

"Fine, I'm cleaning." Bartz picked up the broom and continued to clean. "Say Squall."

"What?!" Squall turned to him, irritated.

"What do you think we can do to help Cloud?" He asked, irritating Squall. "I don't care about someone else problems. I can hardly solve mine so why would I bother helping on someone else?" Squall shouted. Bartz scowled and pouted. "I was just asking." He muttered and continued on sweeping.

Zidane then entered the room while waving at some screaming ladies outside. "See you later my precious." He winked and made the girls squealed louder while Bartz and Squall just stood there, disgusted. Zidane closed the door and turned around to them. He flipped his hair and emitted a sparkling smile. "Man, I'm beat. When will you finish cleaning?" He said as he sat on the chair and rest.

Squall glared at him and threw a bucket and mop at him. Zidane fell down from his chair from the intensity of the throw. He quickly regained ground and touched the mop and almost threw up from disgust. He pointed at Squall and shouted. "What was that for?"

"Go talk to a wall."

"Why you cat you!" Zidane clenched his fist and threatened Squall.

"Hey guys…. We need to clean." Bartz said politely as he tried to calm both of them.

The following day, class 2-3 was given a free period due to a business their teacher needed to attend. Lightning used this perfect opportunity to say her announcement. She went in front of the class and tried to gather everyone's attention. With her are several students, smiling and waving casually at them. People started to notice something's up and remained quiet to hear Lightning's announcement.

Lightning called everyone's attention again and sat on the teacher's table. "I'm going to run as a Student Council President."

Bartz sighed and said, "Don't say something as serious as that when you're already breaking one of our school rules."

"I need everyone's support on the upcoming election." She paused and coughed. She pointed to her side and started introducing her party members. "Yuna is my secretary, Vaan is my treasurer and Tifa is my auditor. All we need now is a Vice President"

Bartz then got an idea and called Cloud's attention. He leaned closer to him and whispered, "Hey this is your chance."

"Not interested." Cloud instantly declined.

"_Maybe being the vice president might not be that bad. I can make them obey rules as I please_." Squall thought –on the sidelines- as he slowly raised his hands.

"Oh!" Lightning snapped her fingers and added, "Laguna is the adviser of the Student Council just so you know."

Yuna laughed weakly and whispered to the girl next to her. "Light didn't even bother adding the "Sir" in Sir Laguna."

"I guess she's not very fond of Sir Laguna." Tifa smiled then replied to Yuna.

"Is there something you want Squall?" Lightning asked after noticing Squall was raising his hands.

Squall then paused for a little bit and slammed his hands on his desk and shouted. "WHY IS THAT IDIOT THERE?"

"Idiot?" Yuna asked in confusion.

"I think he's referring to Laguna. I heard that he hates his father's guts." Vaan told them.

"I guess no one respects Sir Laguna." Tifa sighed and felt sorry for her Professor Laguna.

Squall clutched his head and breathed deeply. "_I almost escape hell_."

Lightning then completely ignored Squall and looked left and right. "No one wants to? I guess we have no choice but to run without a Vice President."

"Please vote for us." Yuna pleaded to the class causing the boys to shout from excitement.

Two weeks after that announcement, they partake on vigorous way of advertising they party. They tried using Yuna's voice, Tifa's body, Vaan amazing but naïve ideas and everyone's fear of Lightning to gather as many votes as they can. And after all of those hardwork, the day has come to announce the results. It was Monday and everyone was asked to gather at the gymnasium for the announcing of winners.

"The winner for this year's Election is Lightning, Kain, Yuna, Tifa and Vaan." The announcer said and asked everyone to give them a round of applause. He stood down from the podium and let Lightning do her victory speech.

"I want to thank everyone in my class-"

"I'm sorry we didn't win." Cecil said to the man beside him while they look at Lightning giving her speech.

"But to lose landslide? I can't believe Kain was the only one who won on our party." Firion said.

"Not to mention that they don't have a Vice President to begin with." WoL sighed and took a perfect look on the person who defeated them.

"At least we tried our best." Cecil said and tried his best encouraged his friends.

Shortly after the festivity, Lightning and the others were summoned to the Principal's office. There awaiting them was Principal Cid, a long time principal of the school. He welcome them with a smile and approached them.

"Congratulations on winning the elections!" The old man clapped and reached their hand to shake hands. "And for your first work as a Student Council President, I want you to conduct a play." He said and changed the topic. His friendly expression was then replaced by a much more serious aura surrounding him.

"A play?" Lightning repeated in a form of question.

"Yes, a play." The principal nodded and showed a couple of pictures. "You see some of my students are causing trouble or having problems here at my school so I want you to help them."

Lightning picked up the pictures and motioned the rest to look at them as well. "That's a wonderful proposition but don't you think this is a little too complicated Old Man?"

"He-hey Light watch your tongue!" Yuna reminded her.

"I mean sir."

The principal laughed weakly and coughed. "You see this is more effective than scolding them. I bet they will learn something great while doing this play."

"I see. We accept the challenge. Let's go guys we need to find these persons." She said with full confidence in her eyes that made the Principal expect great things from her. Lightning bid goodbye and took the pictures along with her party members.

"What play could that be?" Vaan asked while they're walking at the corridor.

"I think it is up to us." Yuna replied. She then stopped walking after seeing someone and muttered, "Tidus…."

Tidus noticed her as well and approached her, "Yuna congratulations on winning!" He grabbed her hands and shook it violently like he was intending to rip it out of her body.

"Thanks. How are-" Lightning cut her off and grabbed Tidus' polo and glared at him, "You. Student Council Room. NOW." She said.

"Yes Ma'am!" Tidus saluted and ran to the Student Council Room the minute Lightning let go of him.

"Tyranny." Tifa commented at the back, showing her dislike on Lightning's method.

"What's wrong Light?" Yuna asked, worrying about Tidus.

"He's one of the students that the principal wants to be in the play." She said and continued on walking to next destination.

"I see…." Yuna said and didn't asked furthermore but was still very unease at the situation.

"Our next destination is…" She said and stopped at one of the classrooms.

"Our room?"

"Where's Zidane?" She peeked at the classroom and saw Bartz and Zidane throwing paper balls at each other.

"You don't have a date with me today so what brings you here?" Zidane revealed himself, posing like model in one of the chairs.

"Go to the student council room. NO QUESTIONS ASKED."

"I haven't asked one yet."

"Oh…. Bartz, Cloud and Squall come as well." She added and quickly left the room.

"Even all of them?" Tifa asked however Lightning continued walking without giving answers.

"Ouch, Terra that hurts." A young boy shouted from pain. Their next destination was the infirmary. Lightning opened the door and saw the nurse was out of duty. She opened the binds and found the students she was looking for. Terra stood up and bowed for respect while Onion Knight hid his bandages, out of embarrassment.

"I want you two to go to the student council now."

"I see, let's go then Luneth." Terra said and extended her hand to him.

"I demand an explanation!"

"An explanation you will have if you come there." Lightning said and left the room.

With all of the students gathered in the student council, she hastened her way back with her members and said that they gathered everyone on the list. Everyone was completely clueless on why they were called. Lightning opened the door of the student council room and sat on the table the moment she got there. "I think we gathered everyone here."

"Light, sit down properly please." Tifa requested.

"Our school principal wants us to direct a play."

"She ignored you." Vaan said and laughed at Tifa's face.

"Wait a minute! Can you be considerate?! You just ordered us to come here and now you are telling that we are part on a play! We need some explanation." Onion Knight stood up and smashed the table.

Lightning snickered and grinned at him. "I see you have guts. We need to break that from you."

"Wa-wait Luneth is right we still need some explanation on why we are chosen to be at the play." Terra defended and calmed Onion Knight while he sat down and put his feet on the table.

Lightning went on the drawers and took something. She revealed it was a book and started reading it aloud. "Terra Branford reported to be skipping classes regularly. Luneth also known as the delinquent Onion Knight fought a couple of upperclassman just before the election campaign started. Tidus broke the valuable vase that was passed from generation to generation of our principal's family and Zidane Tribal was rumored to have an affair with a school teacher." She closed the book and looked at them waiting for some questions.

"Tidus did you really broke the vase?" Yuna asked to Tidus. He smiled weakly and nodded. "I thought no one noticed."

"In my defense, we never really dated she's just head over heels with me." Zidane flipped his hair and smiled.

"Hey, what about us?!" Bartz shouted while pointing Squall, Cloud and his self.

"Squall and Cloud always isolates themselves so I think this is a great way of letting them interact to others."

"WHAT ABOUT ME?" Bartz cried while pointing at his self.

"You were loitering just a while ago." Lightning bluntly said while Bartz sulked at the corner of the room. "Now then, any objections?"

"I have!" Squall said and raised his hand. "Is that guy over there dead or something?" He asked and pointed out Kain.

"He doesn't speak much." Someone said behind Kain that freaked out everybody. Onion Knight shivered but tried to remain calm while Tidus and Bartz went on the far edge of room and even attempted to jump out of the window.

"Hello." Cecil emerged behind Kain and greeted them while Firion and WoL trailed not far off. "I see you're having fun. What's with all these people?" He smiled while he looked left and right.

"As you see senior we are discussing about the play that our principal requested." Lightning said and approached him.

"A play? That seems fun. Can we join?" Cecil asked shocking the two behind him. "Wait, we are just taking our old stuff here remember?" Firion protested to him.

"But it sounds fun." Cecil turned to him and pouted.

"Our seniors sure are weird." Tifa commented while looking at Cecil and Firion. "Are they really seniors?"

"Sure." Lightning said and shook hands with Cecil. "We need people with experience and keen intellect."

"Is that even necessary? Our Principal never stated to have additional members." Yuna said with a worried face and a hushed tone. Vaan laughed and patted her at the back. "This will work out great. I can guarantee it."

"Yahoo! How is everyone doing?" Laguna said entered the room, enthusiastic as ever. "I hope you haven't done something great without me."

TO BE CONTINUED…..

A/N:

First time doing comedy so please forgive me if it's bad.

Summary

Lightning, the stoic and very serious second year student started to run for student council president. She and her party were victorious after winning a landslide victory against their competitors. As the new president she was given the task to come up with a play with her council and some troubled students of the school. After the successful performance they started to get use to each other's companies and decided to put up a club that will make their friendship stronger.


	2. Introduction, Ideas and Punches

"Let's begin to tackle about the play we should present to the whole school and to our principal." Lightning slammed the blackboard and gathered everyone's attention.

"When will it be presented?" Firion asked as he raised his hands.

Lightning closed the notebook she was holding and put it down on the table. "One month from now."

"Not much time left huh?" Tifa said as she glanced over the calendar.

"That's why we don't have much time to be idle like this. Voice your opinion and I will assure this play will be a success."

_She is Lightning Farron, a second year student and the current president of the Student Council. She controls the whole student body by force and her sharp tongue. A girl you shouldn't mess with. Beside her is Tifa Lockhart, her auditor. Tifa is also a second year student but from a different class from Lightning. The two met each other after Tifa asked Lightning for directions. Tifa just transferred from another school this year but is extremely popular._

"Why don't we ask our drama teacher Kefka to help us?"

"No!" Terra instantly said as she shivered in fear. "He will treat us as slave. He will make you do things without your own accord."

_This girl is Terra Branford, second year student and a girl who constantly skips classes. She's very afraid of Professor Kefka after he made him do terrible things in the drama club she used to be a member with. Many people even believed that she constantly skip classes because of Professor Kefka's presence. _

"I forgot you have a peculiar relationship with Professor Kefka." Lightning said as she withdrawn her suggestion earlier. "I guess we have no choice but to conduct this all by ourselves."

"Sorry." Terra slumped on her chair and started to feel guilty. "Don't worry Terra. That guy is a wacko. I bet he will not be much of a help anyways."

_The puny boy sitting next to her -with feet on the table- is Luneth also known as Onion Knight. He's a first year and a bit small for his age. One could say that he started acting like a rebel because people tend to belittle him so he picked fights to show them he's not a weak person. And another reason is because Terra is always with him. He needs to act tough or else he can't protect her –from Kefka._

"I got it!" Tidus stood up and snapped his fingers. "Let's have a play with us as the heroes and our teachers as our enemies. Terra will battle the scariest and weirdest Professor Kefka. Tifa will battle Professor Sephiroth. Bartz will battle the tree over there." Tidus then pointed outside the window. There in the grounds, a professor where busy watering plants and seemed to be the 'tree' Tidus was referring. "I mean Professor Exdeath then we will change Professor Mateus name to **EMPEROR** Mateus and last but not the least Cecil will fight his brother Professor Golbez alongside Kain."

"Why the two of them?" Yuna asked seemingly fascinated with the story. "Is this what they call BL?" Cecil just smiled while Kain coughed to disagree. "Well they are best friends and they grew up together so they are connected with each other."

"So that's also the reason why I have Professor Sephiroth as my enemy. We lived in the same town before," Tifa said. She then noticed Cloud from the far end side of the table looking at her. She titled her head and raised her brow in confusion on why he is looking at her.

"Then Professor Kuja will wear a thong." Tidus continued that sent chills to Zidane's spine. "Professor Garland, Professor Exdeath and Professor Golbez will wear helmets and clad armors. Professor Cloud of Darkness is Onion's enemy simply because I heard she like lolis."

"We sure have weird professors around here." Tifa whispered to Yuna. Yuna then giggled and whispered back, "With even weirder students."

"And I will battle my old man." Tidus finished his storytelling with a pose. "I like the idea!" Bartz agreed then gave him a thumbs up. He then coughed and stood up, "**_Cosmos the goddess of harmony. Chaos the god of discord. Reigning from distant realms, the two gods gathered warriors from all land to lead them in savage war_**." Yuna on the other hand sang a melody while Bartz was giving his narration.

_Bartz Kleuser, a jack of all trades and a second year student. He is in the same class with Lightning along with Zidane, Squall, Cloud, Yuna and Tidus. Tidus and Yuna are childhood best friends and get along pretty well. Tidus is a soccer player and the team captain of the club while Yuna is one of the schools pride for having a wonderful voice -making her very popular._

"Why don't we stick to Romeo and Juliet?" Lightning said, indirectly rejecting their ideas. "Maybe we shouldn't." Zidane said and disagreed. "We have many people here. We need to emphasize them rather than just having only two main characters."

_Zidane Tribal, a second year student and also known as a ladies' man. Zidane often hangs out with Squall and Bartz whenever he doesn't have dates. Sometimes Cloud is dragged in but he doesn't talk much unlike Squall who frequently yells at them when they pick on him for fun._

"I guess so. We need to have equal treatment after all. That's my motto ever since I was elected as the student council president." Lightning said and paused to think.

"But if we are to create a play with Tidus story we should be ready to face the consequence. We will piss the teachers for sure." Terra said as she tried to reason out. Lightning glanced at Tidus and smirked. "Then we should all place the blame at Tidus. All in favor?" Lightning raised her hands as Tidus started to sweat like hell.

"We don't need to have many characters. We need to have people to work on props and the stage. Even we are many. We still lack man power to make this a success." Lightning nodded as she agreed to Cloud's idea. The voting stopped that made Tidus to breathe normally again. "What about you Squall any suggestions?"

"_I like the idea of Tidus and the others. I love the idea of beating** that guy** into pulp_."

"You know we can't hear your monologue over here Squall. Please open your mouth." Lightning put her arm in her waist and sighed. "This will be very rough."

_Cloud Strife and Squall Leonhart, both second years and the loners of the pack. Not to mention they have certain attachment to animals, one with a motif of a lion on his necklaces and one grieving on wolves. Cloud is a childhood friend of Tifa but she doesn't remember him, making him gloomier than before. Squall on the other hand hates his father's guts just because he is an annoying monkey clinging to him. Like Tidus he doesn't get along with his father._

"Any suggestions?" She then turned to her seniors.

_Firion, Cecil Harvey, Kain Highwind and Warrior of Light were the last student council members. They lost landslide from Lightning's party except for Kain. They are all third year students and have deep bonds with each other. Like they say, old people tend to stick together._

"Why don't we create a story ourselves?"

"No. It will buy more time. We only have one month to practice make props and perfect the play." WoL countered Cecil's suggestion. "**Princess Rosa and Alfred the Knight**." Kain said as everyone on the room gasped from shock.

"I heard that play from before." Bartz said as he tried to recall where. Zidane sighed and answered, "That is a play where you caught me and Cloud watching at Gold Saucer."

"Why does everyone seemed so surprised whenever I talk?" Kain asked while Tidus gasped again causing Yuna to punch him. "Because you don't talk much, try talking more often." Cecil said and lectured him.

"I don't want to speak if every time I do someone will be shocked." Kain said while someone gasped again. Yuna was about to hit Tidus but he retaliated, "It's not me! It's Bartz!"

Vaan entered the room and greeted everyone. "Hi guys! Wait... I didn't know we have meeting today. Tifa, why didn't you tell me?" He then looked at Tifa and cried. She smiled weakly and said sorry.

_Vaan is a second year student and another carefree student. He is in the same class with Tifa. He's naïve and tends to stare at the sky, forgetting everything. Vaan is Lightning's treasurer and seems to take it very seriously._

Lightning sighed and face palmed. "I guess this will not go anywhere. Yuna and Tifa you will be in charge of the storyline's plot. We need to create one from scratch that will compliment at our current people in the room. Keep in my mind how many extras we will need and how many main characters we will have."

"Shouldn't we decide on our main characters first?" Terra asked and continued, "If the story will be based upon the characters who will act. We should vote now so it will not be difficult."

"No need. I already have characters on my mind. Zidane will be our **_Marcus_** and you Terra will be**_ Maria_**. Zidane is popular with girls and Terra already has experience in drama so I guess this will be a nice combo. I would like you Terra to teach the other characters on the play."

"Okay, I will not let you down."

"All of us will help in creating the props, characters or not on the play. We need ALOT of manpower to make this play a success. Cecil will be the one in charge with the props. Bartz and Tidus will do the promotion to the students while Cloud and Squall will be in charge on handling the stage. You should able to change the backdrop and the props properly. If you need more help ask Luneth or Vaan for help."

"We need the story by the end of the week or else we will stick to Tidus' one." Lightning said with a hint of hopelessness. "Meeting adjourned. Tomorrow, the same time okay Vaan?"

Vaan laughed and scratched his head. "My bad. I'll be there for sure!"

After everyone left, she sat on her seat and faced her moving chair near the windows. She pinched her nose and breathed out a deep sigh. "So tiring. I wish everything will be okay tomorrow."

* * *

**_Later that night_**, Tifa and Yuna were conversing about the plot of the story over the phone. Tifa was busy munching potato chips while Yuna on the other hand was putting face mask on her face.

"Love story is a popular choice besides the props is easier to make than with adventure and horror type of play."

"Yeah. And with Zidane's popularity, I think there will be more girls than boys." Yuna seconded Tifa. "Then what kind of story? Tragic? Or simple yet touching?"

"Why don't we add another girl? Maria and Marcus are childhood friends but Maria doesn't notice Marcus. But when they grow up Marcus left her with a promise that made her think of him, eventually falling for him. But when she followed her, she found out that there is someone eyeing on him. THEN BOOM a sword came crashing from the sky and hit the other girl which results a happy ever after!"

"How will we fit that on the school themed romance? I like the first part but seriously Tifa? A sword? On top of that it came from the sky! Hear me out. Marcus came from the other world and was swept away in Maria's world. Maria is a summoner and she has duty to break the circle of hatred in the world. During the course of the adventure, they fell in love with each other. And at the end they will found out that Marcus is not a real person but actually a dream created by Fayth."

Yuna sniffed as she felt emotional on her story. Tifa was not impressed and remained silent so she will not offend her friend. "Maybe romance is not best for our play. We have plenty guys. We should incorporate and used them very efficiently."

"Yeah I guess so. Why don't we create a—"

**_To Be Continued_**

* * *

**Another A/N update**

**Removed the references, it kinda bugged me. I also fixed the grammar errors.**

A/N

Yey for update! Lightning is kinda modeled from Erza Scarlet of Fairy Tail. They are quite similar but Erza have a cute and funny side with her while Lightning have more sadness and sadness on her side. I made a couple of reference to other FF's please check it out. I know FF7 have more reference but I will assure you every FF's will have fair treatment here!

Next UP: WoL's Name, Claire and Prishe!


	3. WoL's Name, Claire and Prishe

"I like this story." Lightning said as she put down the stack of paper on her table. "Let's use this story as our play." She said that made Tifa and Yuna jumped in joy.

"The idea is kinda strange if you tell me." Firion said under his breath while Onion Knight shouted, "I don't like this idea one bit!"

"Do you remember the thing I said earlier? I need to break that spirit out of you." Lightning said and pressed her knuckles. She then took a rope from who knows where and tied him and placed him in the corner of the room complete with handkerchief tied on his mouth.

"Any objections?" She asked as she whipped the ground with a whip from the vortex of unknown. The boys gulped and shook their hands nervously. "Great then all the boys need to practice their lines with Terra and those who are not practicing should work on the props."

"Roger."

"I find it strange." Bartz said to his friends while sewing a gown. "What is your real name again WoL?"

"Warrior of Light."

"Liar! Proof! We need proof!" Bartz said as he pointed a needle to WoL. WoL calmly sighed and took his ID out. He gave it to Bartz and laughed the moment he saw the ID. "Look at this Squall he looked like he was taking a picture for a mug shot. He looked so serious!"

"Isn't the point of showing his ID to you is to prove his name?" Squall monologue as he ignored Bartz's calls for him. "Look at this Tidus! WoL looked so fierce." Bartz then diverted his attention to Tidus who just came out from his practice with Terra.

"Squall it's your turn." Terra peeked from the door and called Squall. He sighed and thanked Terra that he is gone from that noisy place.

"Can you give it back?" WoL asked as he got fed up from Bartz and Tidus' laugh. "Oh yeah. I forgot my real reason on having your ID." He gave it back to WoL and continued on sewing the gown he was working on.

"Why don't we think of a nickname for WoL?" Vaan suggested that sparked a topic from the people inside the room. Everyone gathered in the floor and traded ideas with each other.

"I like this idea. This way no one will feel left out in our group." Lightning said as she sat on the floor as well.

"Warrior of Light huh?" Vaan said as he think of a nickname. "Tell me what is your first name and last name."

"Just Warrior of Light."

"Ow-kay." Vaan replied awkwardly. "What a strange name. I wonder why your mother named you like that."

"I don't have a mother. I don't have any memories prior to this."

"Woah. A bombshell dropped by our ex-student council president." Bartz said as he eagerly listened to WoL. "I've bet losing to a landslide made him forget stuff." He snickered in the corner and told himself.

"Can't you remember anything at all?" Vaan asked.

"**_Nothing. However, it doesn't concern me if I but fight then my existence is given meaning_**."

"What the hell are you talkin about?" Onion Knight from the back reacted.

Firion laughed and wiped his tears. "Sorry. I can't help it. WoL stop teasing them."

"Wow it sounded so real for a second since joking seems so out of his character." Bartz said with a displeased looked on his face.

"WoL (Wall) E!" Yuna shouted all of sudden and smiled. "Why don't we call him WoL (Wall) E?"

Vaan shook his head and put his arms on the back of his head. "Nah! Sound so extra terrestrially. Professor Sephiroth might mistake him as Jenova the alien mother."

"Warrior seems too flashy and we already call Lightning, Light."

"Why don't we call WoL, Light then call Lightning by her second name "Claire"?" Cloud suggested and immediately met Lightning's gaze. She quickly went to him and tied him in the similar manner she did to Onion Knight.

"How about Hikari? It's the same equivalent of Light in Japanese since we are created by Japanese people after all." Tidus said that was quickly denied for breaking the fourth wall.

Hours and hours had passed and there still no nickname for WoL. Everyone seemed to give up and seemed losing interest about the topic.

"At least you tried guys, right WoL?" Cecil cheered them up while WoL nodded.

"We could call both of them Light, surely it will not be confusing. I've seen people with same names and nicknames but manage not to be confused." Everyone agreed and proceed to work silently after what Bartz had suggested.

"Light!"

"Light!"

"Light!"

"Light!"

"Light!"

WoL collapsed on the floor, depressed while Firion and Cecil patted his back. "That's too bad. I guess we should stop calling them both Light."

"It's very saddening. WoL always turn his head whenever someone yells Light but it turns out to be that Lightning was the one they were referring. Not even a single call was meant for him." Firion added to Cecil's earlier response.

Tidus snickered and shouted Light once again. WoL turn his head and was flatly rejected by Tidus saying Lightning was the one he was calling. Lightning came from behind and hit him in the head and proceeded to tie him. He was then placed next to Cloud and Onion Knight.

"Why don't we call him WoL? The first letters of Warrior of Light." Tifa suggested that Zidane disagreed, "I don't know. If that will happen when Squall is throwing tantrums and says "Go talk to a wall." Then that means we need to talk to Warrior of Light."

"Are you making fun of me?"

Bartz burst into laughter and high fived Zidane. "Pure gold my friend, pure gold!"

"Why don't we stick to Warrior of Light?" Terra interrupted the two from laughing and sat on the floor. "I mean you call Luneth, Onion Knight even though its flashy shouldn't Warrior of Light be the same?"

"No fair. Because Onion's name is cute that's why we call him that." Vaan pouted that made Onion Knight enraged and broke the rope tied around him. "Don't call me cute!"

"See? He's so cute."

"Cid! We should call him Cid since every Final Fantasy Series have Cids on them." Tidus said that was again rejected for breaking the fourth wall.

"Why do you hate your second name Light?" Yuna said that changed the topic. WoL suddenly crumbled and turned into dust. "That's it? After making fun of me, a single question will make you lose interest?"

"Poor WoL."

"Because it's too girly." She answered as she sipped her tea. Zidane whispered at Bartz and said, "Where did she get tea? I want one too."

[Case Closed]

"Oh so this is the student council room." A girl said as she peeked into the classroom.

"Any complaint you want to file?" Lightning stood up and welcomed the guest. She politely declined and smiled. "I'm only exploring."

"Hi Squishy!" Prishe said that shocked everyone. There was no one named Squishy in the room then WoL slowly raised his hand and greeted her. "Hi Prishe."

"I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine. He shall be my squishy." Tidus reenacted that made everyone die from laughter.

"I can't help it. We were younger that time."

_WoL and Prishe, 6 and 4 years old that time were watching Finding "Squishy". They were seating on the floor when they heard that infamous line. Prishe looked at him and said, "Squishy." She then turned back again at the the tv and continued watching the movie._

AHAHAHAHAHA

"Squishy." Bartz patted his back and continued to laugh. "That's hilarious man. I should call him that as well."

"No! He's my squishy." Prishe then waltz in the room and break the two up.

"Why don't you join us make this play a success?" Lightning said to her as she extended her arms. "I don't know I'm into exploring stuff rather than staying in one place."

"We got food!"

"Deal!"

[A/N]

Punny jokes everywhere. I'm very sorry for that. Are my jokes even funny?

Oh yeah, I'm not going to put the reference on the end like last time. It kinda kills the pun you should research for it yourselves or not laugh at all. I'm also invading popular culture for reference in my jokes so uhm….. be prepared. And BTW when WoL is written it means they are speaking his full name it's just tiring to write it over and over again and they only called him WoL (pronounced wall) its acronym during Wall E's parody and when Tifa suggested WoL as his nickname.

But right now I'm going to stop updating for awhile since my jokes are now depleted and I need to re-stock for the new chapters. And beware for the play! I have tons of idea for it mwahahahahaha.

Here's Tidus ready to break your fourth wall ;)


	4. School, Professors and Classes

**These stories are shorts of the gang's daily lives. Enjoy!**

[Cutting Classes]

"It's really great to see Terra attending classes again."

It was early in the morning. Everyone was busy conversing with each other while waiting for the teacher of their next class. One of the students' topics was Terra's attendance at school. She's not that popular like Tifa or Yuna but due to her involvement in the drama club she has a name for herself. And pretty much anyone knew what type of relationship she has with Professor Kefka.

"Good Morning Class." The professor opened the door and revealed itself as Kefka. The girls, who were just talking about Terra, hastily looked at Terra's chair and were shocked to see that she was gone in a split of second.

"She's quick."

Terra was running as if her life depends on it. She stopped for awhile to take a rest and as she looked up, she was shocked to see that she was unconsciously running towards the Student Council Room. Thinking that no one was around during that time of the day, she entered and decided to stay there until Kefka's class was finished.

Unbeknownst to her, Lightning was there sorting papers in her table. She gulped and tried to silently walk away. Lightning specifically lectured her to not cut class anymore that's why she is now attending regularly and besides because of her involvement in the play she regained her confidence and tried to give socializing a chance.

"Who's there?" Lightning asked without taking a glance. She was an inched close on escaping but it's now too late. Lightning looked at her and was surprised. "Didn't I tell you before that you need to stop cutting classes?" She said and continued doing her paper works.

"I know." Terra said humbly and sat on one of the chairs. "I'm not cutting class anymore but there is one class that I would trade my soul to avoid it."

"Kefka's?" Lightning asked without any honorifics while Terra nodded silently. Lightning felt sorry and let her off the hook. "I guess its fine. You did start attending classes and all but I expect you to attend his class sooner okay?"

Terra happily smiled and nodded then she noticed something peculiar. Something's wrong. "Light don't you have classes this time also?" She asked while she looked at the nervous –and shaking- Lightning. Lightning slowly turned her head to her and smiled weakly. "I have some paper works to do AND IT'S VERY IMPORTANT." She said that Terra found suspicious. Terra stared her for minutes, testing her.

Lightning finally gave up and confessed, "It's Garland's." Terra smiled with content and sat back down on her seat again. "You don't know how boring Garland's class is. History is so boring especially when he is telling it."

"Tell me about it. Professor Kefka on the other hand kept calling me like I'm the only one in the room."

And the rest of the day passed without the two knowing. They kept complaining on their respected hated teacher until the end of the day, which is much worse than skipping one class.

[The Original]

Jecht whistled as he called everyone's attention. He was holding a ball and was wearing normal gym wear attire. "All right listen up. Blitz ball is not a normal game. You need to have focus and determination and in order to become great at this sport you need to come up with **original** techniques."

"Are you insulting me old man?" Tidus emerged from the class and shouted. "Are you saying that I'm weak because I copied some of your moves huh?"

"Great, you got my idea!" Jecht said as he exchanged taunts with his son. "You need more practice weakling AND better techniques to fight me. Someone who just copied someone else techniques cannot overcome the original, especially the Great Jecht!"

"Bring it on old man. It might be your technique but I can use it better."

The whole class sighed as they watched the two exchanging throws of the ball and insults at each other. Zidane tired of their nonsense stood up and said, "Why don't we play volleyball instead guys?"

"Yeah."

[Time Management]

"Time is gold everyone. You need to cherish every minute of it." Ultimecia said as she wrote 'Time' on the board. "Time Traveling on the other hand can create distortion on the timeline itself. It could create 'Time Paradoxes', Time Paradoxes are things that are responsible for the overlapping of different timelines. Some people are even blessed to see the future and can transcend through time."

Squall sighed while doodling something on the back of his notebook. "What class is this anyway?" He asked to his self and looked on the cover of his notebook. The cover says '**Nonsense by Professor Ultimecia**'

"Figures."

"I, myself want to transcend through time and conduct my dream plan 'Time Compression' which will make me the GOD OF THIS WRETCHED UNIVERSE."

"Did someone break up with Miss Ultimecia again?"

"Most likely."

[Family Planning with Sephiroth]

"Good afternoon class. I'm here to substitute for Professor Golbez today." Sephiroth put down his things on the teacher's table and wrote "Pregnancy" on the board. "We're going to discuss about pregnancy and family planning today."

"One must plan everything first before conceiving a baby. You do know how human beings make baby right?" Sephiroth asked his silent and bored to death students. Bartz sighed and answer his teacher in a monotone voice, "We're not a child anymore. Of course we know things like that."

Sephiroth clapped his hands and smiled to them. "Great, so it's not going to be hard to discuss this with you. As you may not know conceiving a child is not an easy task. A new life is born and you, the parents are responsible for the child's future. So don't do 'that' stuff if you don't plan on making one and don't use the reason that you have condom with me."

"Yes, Professor Sephiroth." The class answered in a monotone voice.

"Then let's say what if Jenova had a baby son—"

"Who's the father?" One of his students asked.

"Jenova doesn't need a husband. She's too awesome for that."

"Ow-kay."

Sephiroth coughed and continued his story. "Let me continue my example. Let's say Jenova had a baby son Sephiroth and her good for nothing scientist boyfriend doesn't want to support her and her baby. What should she do Cloud?"

Sephiroth called Cloud's attention -who was at that time was busily looking at the scenery outside the window. "Huh?" He looked at Professor Sephiroth and stood up. "She should abort the baby." Cloud then absent mindedly answered and sat again in his seat.

"Detention now." Sephiroth broke the chalk he was holding and pointed the door.

[Like Lolis They Say]

Onion Knight kicked the can in front of him and grunted while walking along the corridor. "I thought Tidus said that Cloud of Darkness likes Lolis but 'she' seemed to hate my entire existence." He said to his self while remembering the events that happened moments ago.

"Onion Knight what's the answer on this question 'Name one ingredient that can preserve your food.'"

Onion Knight sighed and answered without getting up. "Salt."

"Wrong. Prishe give me on spice that can preserve food." She said and turned to Prishe –who was raising her hand and was practically standing up.

"Salt!"

"Correct!" Cloud of Darkness said and wrote the word 'salt' on the board. Onion Knight slammed his desk and exclaimed. Cloud of Darkness smirked and asked his problem calmly. It made Onion Knight angrier and went to the front to assault her.

"Do it and detention will be at your doorsteps." She provoked him and said. Onion Knight sighed and put down his hand. He put his hands on his pocket and went outside.

[Detention]

He opened the door and saw Cloud and Professor Laguna. Cloud slightly tilted his head to acknowledge his presence and went on staring at a distance again.

"What brings you here Cloud?" He asked after he sat down beside him. They were at the detention room and Laguna was the one supervising them. "I was told that I offended Professor Sephiroth. He said that my words are as harsh as telling him that he shouldn't live at all and I disgraced his mother's name."

"I don't get what you're saying but okay." Onion Knight replied to Cloud's monotonic answer. "You?" Cloud then asked Onion Knight.

"I don't get that old hag. I answered her questions correctly but she always says it's wrong and she kept smirking to provoke me. I thought Tidus said that hag like Lolis."

"Maybe that's how she shows her love for you. They say hate stays more than love that's why you never forget your ex. Or maybe she's a _tsundere_."

[Where are they?]

"Double time people! We only have two weeks before the performance." Lightning clapped her hands and shouted. She looked left and right and noticed a few people missing. She saw Squall doing nothing at the corner and shouted. "Squall, please fetch Luneth and Cloud. You know where they are, right?"

"I know where Cloud is but about the kid—"

"Great! Go get them." She said cutting him off. He sighed and dropped the things he was carrying. Tifa noticed and whispered to Yuna. "Isn't the detention room supervised by Professor Laguna?"

[I'm useless]

Laguna sobbed and drink a glass full of orange juice. "You guys don't know how miserable my life here in the school is." He stopped and drinks again. "Lightning never asks for my consent in the student council so I'm practically useless. I tried to become the guidance counselor here but Lightning never sent students here to discipline instead she is the one lecturing them. She practically stole my job TWICE."

He hiccupped and raised his glass –acting like a drunken man. Cloud stared at him silently and raised the glass given to him and thought, "Don't tell me he got drunk just by drinking orange juice."

"B-but you still get paid right Professor?" Onion Knight said trying to comfort him. "At least they are not firing you."

"But because of that my son thinks I'm useless."

"I think Squall thinks you're useless whatever you do with your life." Both of them said at the back of their head.

"Cloud, Lightning wants you to come to the Student Council immediately." Squall said while opening the door. He stopped moving after seeing his father in front him. The door slowly closes while Laguna tried to catch it.

"Squall!" Laguna shouted and collapsed on the floor. "Please come back to our house. Tell your mother that I love her."

[After that?]

"Where are they? Didn't I tell you to fetch them?" Lightning said to Squall. He went to his workplace and answer. "That's one mission I don't want to do."

"Huh?"

"We're back!" Onion Knight shouted while Cloud nodded his head. Terra happily went to his side and welcomed him while Cloud went to the corner without saying a word.

[To be continued….]

UP NEXT: Advertisement, Terra and Slavery!

**Important note to my readers:**

**I will not update frequently like I used to. It might take months before the next chapter get publish. The reason? Look at my profile to find out. **

Hurrah! I finished it. Sorry if it's not as _punny_ as before. I didn't gather enough puns for this. But I will try to make the next one _punnier_ than this one. Yes I use pun not fun. The next one is about Tidus and Bartz advertising plans. I assure you those plans will be more outrageous than Tidus' rip off of Dissidia's. And I'm going to add drama by revealing why Terra is afraid of Kefka. Lol! But if you already played FFVI you will get the idea already -well the title itself is a HUGE clue.


	5. Advertisement, Terra and Slavery!

A gust of wind blew as Bartz and Tidus stare at each other. They were at the middle of the field wearing their P.E uniform with a soccer ball on Tidus' foot. Another gust of wind blew as the two smiled and went head to head with each other.

One of the classroom's windows opened and a girl shouted from the classroom, "Hey you two! What the hell are you doing?" It was the middle of the first period of class and a couple of students noticed Bartz and Tidus on the field. It was Lightning who shouted with a megaphone. Very shortly every student began to look to the windows after hearing Lightning's shout.

Bartz and Tidus smirked and revealed a huge tarpaulin on their back. Lightning turn on her megaphone again and said, "Please watch our play this coming Saturday. Tickets are now available. Please find any of the Student Council members to buy one."

The whole school fell on their seats while the rest of the gang face palmed and lower their heads down with embarrassment. Firion sighed and said to himself, "I can't believe Lightning approve this kind of advertisement."

"Will they get in trouble by doing that?" Terra asked while she looked outside the window.

After a short while Lightning and the others were gathered in the principal office with the help of the teachers. The three remained seated while the teachers and the principal discussed about their punishment for disrupting almost all of the classes that morning.

"Completely absurd. I can't believe students will do this during school hours and to top it all of it's the student council president." Cloud of Darkness said as she glared at Lightning.

"Now, now." The principal said as he calm the teachers down. "I'm the one who asked them to put on a play. So if you have any problem with it, please address it to me. These kids are simply obeying my orders."

"But this is-"

"I agree that it was very disrespectful Professor Ultimecia but I think they will not do something as outrageous as this again right?" The principal asked and gave the students a gentle smile.

The three nodded and was dismissed as easily as that. Lightning didn't say anything on the way back at their classroom. Bartz and Tidus kept saying sorry but Lightning didn't reply. Making the two more scared than before. Lightning stopped and paused causing the two to shiver in fear. She smiled and patted their heads and said, "That was fun." She then entered to their room leaving the two on the floor, collapsing from fear.

Their first advertisement was a success. The tickets each of them had, was completely sold out. They even wondered if the tickets they printed might not be enough. The auditorium might even be in full house if this continues on.

It was lunch break when they did their second advertisement. Zidane was the next one doing their advertisement. He was clad in armor with a horse? on his side. 'Woof!' Tidus said while he scratched his head with his paw. Zidane looked at him and reminded him that he was supposed to be horse. Tidus nodded and stood straight.

Zidane sighed and raised his hand in the air. He then recited with full confidence the lines of a famous story. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair!" Girls squealed from the second floor and kept throwing flowers at Zidane's face, slightly irritating him.

_"Terra now!"_

Terra slapped her face a couple of times and exhaled. She took the tarpaulin Tidus and Bartz used earlier from her desk and let it down on the window. "O Romeo, o Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo."

Boys and girls alike applauded their scene even though the lines where clearly not connected with each other. The original advertisement was actually much worse than that. **_It was a few minutes ago_**, Bartz called out Terra from her classroom and asked her a favor.

"Terra could you help us out?"

"Sure, is it about the advertisement right?"

"Could you reveal this from your classroom after **_we_** say, 'O Romeo Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo'?

"Uhm isn't it **_Juliet_** who said that line? _They really don't have any clue about drama, don't they? Well at least he got the lines right._"

"Really? I thought Juliet was the guy." Bartz scratched his nose and think. Zidane, who happened to be there, sighed and hit Bartz on the head, "Terra, don't mind talking to this drama noob. I will help you. Should we replace the lines from Rapunzel instead and you say Juliet's line after mine? It might not be connected but at least its right."

Terra nodded and was shocked, "I didn't know you were knowledgeable about this Zidane." "My brother kinda rubbed it on me. Let me just get down and we will start at once."

"Wait. You need to be on your costume."

* * *

"It was a success." Terra said as she followed the three on the grounds. "All of my 20 tickets are sold out." Tidus and Bartz smiled and showed off. "Of course, are marketing plans are fool proof. I'm sure this play will be a hit."

Zidane only smiled and went ahead to their classroom while Terra went to the student council room to surrender the money. Tidus and Bartz stayed and said that they need to discuss about their next plan. Shortly, Yuna called them out and showed a poster that Firion Cecil and WoL made.

Bartz and Tidus telepathically hatched an idea and snickered, weirding Yuna out. She instantly bid her goodbye and left the two scheming for their new plan. After whispering a couple of minutes, the two nodded and sneakily went somewhere else.

It was narrow lane from the back of the school building. Fewer students walk there, mostly guys. The two snatched a guy who was leisurely walking and talked to him. "Hey do you want to buy something from us?"The two said armed with coats and fedora hats hiding their faces. The guy sighed and said, "Tidus and Bartz don't go scaring me like that."

"Buy tickets from us and you will see the popular Zidane in stage!" Bartz said, still acting like an illegal seller. "You should tell that to girls not me."

"Then what about Luneth, the Onion Knight?"

"I told you should ask girls-"

"In a dress." Tidus said as he revealed a picture of Onion Knight in pink dress complete with make-up. The guy took a good look and laughed. He tried to get it from Tidus but Tidus gestured money first before having the picture.

The guy laughed as he raised the picture in the air. "Now I know your weakness punk. You will never beat me again."

The two snickered as they counted the money they gained with just one customer. He bought ten tickets to just get that said picture. The rumors then spread in a split second. Students started to talk to them, asking and buying ultra rare stuffs about the student council members.

"Hey…." A soft voice girl said from a distance. "I heard that you have a sound clip of Kain speaking. How much is it?"

"How much is in your hand?"

"Only 30 gil."

"I'm sorry but Kain's voice is much more valuable than that."

"Please. I will do anything just to get that. It's the only thing missing from my collection." The girl begged on her knees and said. Tidus smile and asked her to stand up. "Here. Sell these tickets and bring back the money to us by sundown and you will get your speaking Kain free."

"Thank you." The girl hurriedly took the ticket and dashed off somewhere. The two smiled and turned around to count their money. Unbeknownst to them, the rumors gone so wild that even Lightning and the others knew about their wrongdoings.

"I heard there is someone selling secret information and pictures about the student council members. Is it here?" Tidus and Bartz hid their money and faced their new customer. It was Tifa and Lightning with faces they never saw before. "Are the tickets selling fairly BARTZ, TIDUS?" Lightning asked sarcastically as Tifa and she prepared their bare fist.

"Who told you to sell those cowgirl pictures of mine?!"

"Didn't I tell you before that no one should call me Claire! NO ONE!"

* * *

In the end, the tickets were sold out after Cloud and Prishe took the job from the two. They were punished severely from selling pictures and secrets of everyone. "That's what you get after selling us out like that." Tifa said as she glared at Tidus and Bartz tied and taped at the corner.

"I couldn't believe that there will be a day that everyone will call me squishy." WoL said and collapsed on the floor. Cecil helped him get up and cheered him up with a gentle smile. "Some of the rumors you sold are simply entertaining. People kept saying that I'm the manliest main guy character among the Final Fantasy series because I got wed with Rosa and conceived a child unlike some who let their main lead die or vanish by the end of the game or simply too young to get wed." Cecil laughed and continued, "Tidus stop breaking the fourth wall or else readers might get tired of it. Our writer is running low on jokes."

"Even those rose plantations were not true…. I didn't plant them I'm just looking at them _on daily basis_."

"Well rumors will go away after a couple of days, for now let's focus on our play. Two days left before the premiere of our play. Did you inform your parents on our sleepover at Yuna's for two days?"

**_A week ago_**, they discussed that it was better for them to stay together the day before the play so there will be no cases of being late. They chose Yuna's house because it was the closest one and the biggest one of all. They agreed to stay over for one night and two days, the second day being the day of the play.

* * *

"Woah. This place is huge." Vaan remarked when Yuna opened the door and welcomed them. "Please feel at home BUT don't break anything okay? I'm going to prepare some snacks for you guys." Yuna said as she disappeared from their sight.

"Don't wander around here or else you will get lost. Just stick to my side and you will not get lost." Tidus said, bragging his status of being Yuna's childhood friend. But alas during his speech he was locked outside and was left out there without a clue.

"Hey let me in!"

"What should we do in here anyways?" Terra asked as she surveyed every nook and cranny of the place. "We finished the props and we already did our dress rehearsal."

"We will have a bonding time of course." Vaan, Laguna and Bartz said while doing the popular Vegas dance routine and pumping their hands in the air.

"Sir Laguna?!" Tifa shouted that resulted Squall's soul to escape from his body.

"Why don't we have a little chat instead to past time?" Yuna said emerging from the kitchen with a trolley full of treats and tea. "It might be a good start to start with Terra's fear or hatred for Professor Kefka."

"I'm afraid you might say that." Terra weakly smiled and took a cup of tea from Yuna. "Yeah, I don't have a clue about why you hate the guy." Vaan said with a sliced of bread in his mouth.

"It was summer of my first year, people in the drama club where busy preparing for a play the community asked us to do. Everything was doing smoothly until Kefka arrived. Kuja was our maestro that time and he was the very best there is. Now that I remembered, he was your brother right Zidane?"

"Yeah. I'm afraid to admit it but yes he is my brother."

"What is the name of your play that time?"

"Nothing big. It's Swan Lake."

"I was right!" Tifa exclaimed and held Terra's hand. "That's the play I saw a year ago. That's one of the reasons why I chose to transfer here."

"I was actually the opening act of that play." Yuna cut in and said. "I remember that you were the main lead. It's such a waste that I didn't get a chance to befriend you that time."

"I heard it was a laughing stock." Lightning tried to join the conversation but it turned the conversation into a bad side. Lightning blinked and was clueless on what she created. Terra just laughed it off and continued the story.

"Kefka often went and see our practices then everything change when Kefka attacked. He tried everything to ousted Professor Kuja from his job as our maestro. Then eventually he succeeded. He did everything to change what Professor Kuja left after he gain his position. Bit by bit my classmates give in and I was the only one left fighting for him. He then had a liking on destroying my determination. He forced me to do things that were either embarrassing or completely weird saying that it will measure my determination and passion about drama."

"Then the day of the play came right?"

"Yes. He shouted and shouted at the play pointing out mistakes that didn't exist. He embarrassed my whole existence that day. People kept laughing and laughing that I lost my focus. In the end he showed up at the stage and replaced me. He was wearing the same outfit and make up as mine and took the lead from me."

"No wonder it was a laughing stock." Squall said as he shivered on the thought. "That face will haunt forever if I will see him in a tutu."

"So he had taken a liking to you because of your determination? It became his hobby to torment you and he was looking forward on the day that you will give up and just follow his order?" Firion asked while Terra silently nodded and sipped her tea.

"Soon after that, I became conscious of him. He kept tormenting me that I gain a sense of his presence whenever his nearby. His hobby then became obsession after that. When he is teaching in our class he only addresses me and only looks at me and I'm the only one he hands out test papers with during exam. He is completely ignoring everyone else."

"So you started skipping class because you want your classmates to have a normal class?" Vaan asked.

"NO! It's because every person I see reminds me of him. I became paranoid. Not to mention he stalks me as well. I can't take it anymore." Terra clutched her head and shivered in fear.

"Good thing he stopped doing that right?" Firion said but was cut off by Onion Knight. "He still finds time on stalking Terra but whenever I'm around he will never lay a hand on her."

"Yeah. Her knight and shining armor will save the day." Firion said, looking unimpressed. _I feel sorry for you Terra. _

"But I'm slowly recovering from my Kefka sickness." She smiled and looked out on the window while sipping her tea. She then passed out after seeing Kefka knocking on the window while smiling like a lunatic.

Help.

[A/N]

I'm sorry it's not as funny as before and some of the jokes are not delivered properly. I'm sorry this is longer than the others terribly. I actually intended a scene of them sleeping. Some of my funniest jokes are in that scene. I don't know when I will use those jokes because the next chapter is the play already.

Everything was going well then Pauline (my name) wrote chapter 5. Haha! I don't think it as necessarily bad but it was not as good as the others. But the next one will be great. I've been stocking some jokes about it.

Thank you for reading this.

NEXT UP: The Play!


	6. The Play!

_Lift your head, baby don't be scared_

_Of the things that could go wrong along the way_

_You'll get by with a smile_

_You can't win at everything _

_But you can try…._

Wearing a simple long sleeve white dress and black boots, Yuna serenaded her audience with a mellow song. She slowly moved across the stage and enchanted every person on the auditorium with her lovely voice. She was the master of ceremonies of the event. She opened the event with a song called 'With a Smile'.

After a minute or two, the song was finished. A couple of people stood up and gave her a round of applause. She was very well received by the audience. Well who wouldn't be, she was fantastic out there.

Yuna went backstage and talked to Tifa, the one in charge, and asked for the timeline of events. Tifa was commanding the boys of moving the props in place at the back. Yuna silently walked behind her and gave her a hug. "Tifa, why are you wearing our school's P.E jacket and jogging pants while I'm here wearing a formal dress."

Yuna pouted and showed her displeasure more. Tifa turned around and gave her the paper she asked for. She pushed Yuna back to the stage and smiled. "It's because I will not appear in stage. Hurry up! I bet the boys already finished in setting the props up."

Yuna nodded to her and went back at the stage. The lights of the auditorium went on causing the audience to give some round of applause. Yuna went in center stage and read the storybook she was carrying aloud.

"_**A long long time ago, there was once a prosperous kingdom called 'Cornelia'. The kingdom was a very rich land. People there are so lively and friendly but suddenly their King contacted an unknown terminal disease. Worrying about his father, our main character went to his father's quarters and talked to him. And this is how the story will start**_."

Yuna bowed her head and went to the far right side of the stage as the lights dimmed. The auditorium went silent for a minute then a change of tune was heard. Footsteps were then heard coming from the backstage. Everyone was at the edge of their seats after hearing a girl's sandals footsteps. The audience's mind was on wild while thinking who could that person might be. Terra? Tifa? Lightning?

"Brother! Brother!" A panting voice was heard from the far right sight of the stage. Everyone was in daze. It was a girl's sandals footsteps and yet they were hearing a voice of a man trying desperately to be a girl. They cleaned their ears and tried to listen once again but it was no use.

"Brother! Brother!"

The girl finally appeared at the stage. "She" has a very long orange hair and was wearing a pink dress with frills in its neckline. "What did Father say?"

Everyone one at the auditorium laughed and fell on their seats. "Luneth go home your drunk!" One of his friends shouted from the audience. Onion Knight kept his cool and took a deep breath. He stayed in his character and continued on.

"Well?" He said with a very cute innocent face.

The audience contained their laughter and waited for the next scene. It started to get serious when a man clad in a typical prince outfit from the far left side of the stage walked in. "He" raised his head and started to speak. "Father gave me a task."

The audience was in awe. Terra raised her head and patted Onion Knight's head like a real brother would. Some of the girl's from the audience even blushed from that single line. She was very into character…

"What task?"

While her co-actor was a laughing stock from the audience. Onion Knight was doing great actually. It's just his real character and the younger sister that he was portraying was seriously distant from each other. No one even imagined that they will live to see the day of Onion Knight wearing a tiara on his head.

* * *

"I see. The characters will be played by the opposite gender." Aerith smiled from her seat and added, "I wonder if Cloud is included."

"Selphie stop laughing like crazy and just watch the show silently." Penelo tried to calm down her friend from the seats. "I wonder if they managed to convince Squall to do this as well." Selphie opened her cellphone and readied her camera. "I need to have a photograph of that."

Penelo resigned and sighed from the hopelessness of her hyperactive friend. "I wonder if Vaan is wearing like that as well."

* * *

The audience suddenly went silent when Terra continued her dialogue and spoke, "He asked me to find a suitable wife before he passes away." She stopped for a second and sighed. "Instead of finding for a cure for his sickness he wants me to find a pretty woman to be my wife."

"Will you do it big brother?"

"If this is what our father wishes to and it can't be helped without a woman by my side I can't succeed on taking the throne."

"_**With that, the prince and his lovely cute sister left their kingdom and went in search for a lovely maiden to be his wife**_."

The lights went dimmed again to change the props for the next scene. Onion Knight and Terra exited on the right side of the stage and took a breather. Onion Knight growled at Yuna for her unnecessary added remarks but was instead scolded by Lightning for fooling around.

While on the other hand, everyone from the backstage was in panic. It appears that they encountered some trouble. Tifa kept yelling and was asking where Cloud was. Lightning tried to calm Tifa and the others down and tried to patch the problem very quickly.

After a few minutes, Yuna went to her usual post and continued on narrating the story. "_**The very next morning, the prince and his younger princess set out on an adventure with their trusted chocobo-**_"

"AHYUCK!" Tidus, wearing the chocobo costume, made noise. Yuna face palmed and accidentally said on the microphone, "That's not how a chocobo was supposed to sound." causing much more laughter than it supposed to have. Yuna blushed and tried to cover her face from embarrassment.

Yuna cleared her throat and tried to not be embarrassed even further. She paused for a minute and continued narrating, "_**It was night time before they arrived at the next kingdom. His sister was already tired and hungry even the prince can't handle how hungry he was anymore. Luckily, there was a tavern nearby on this town. They entered the tavern and sat on one of the tables. They were greeted by three waitresses from the tavern**_."

"Welcome!" The "girl" with a beautiful _**rose**_ on her hair said. "Anything you want?"

"A meal for two if you please and are there any place we could have a shut eye?" Terra asked the three ladies.

The girls were shocked and whispered to each other. The girl that welcomed them delivered their plate and smiled. "My name is Belle. Are you perhaps from the neighboring kingdom?"

"Yes, yes we are." Terra answered his question and took a sip from the glass. "I'm actually finding a woman to be my wife. My name is Locke Cole."

"My, my that's a pretty odd thing for a reason to be travelling aren't we?" Belle's friend joined in the conversation and added, "My name is Rosa by the way."

"And you?" Terra asked the emotionless one beside Rosa. "It depends on you. You can choose my name and my job. I can be a white mage, a dark mage, red mage or-"

"Don't worry about her. That's Sarah. She's been kidnapped far too many times by someone that she loses it sometimes." Firion/Bella interrupted his friend WoL/Sarah and smiled. "Why don't you stay at my house for tonight? It's free of charge."

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"Of course!"

"Belle, Sarah I need to go my son, Ceodore, is waiting for me. Nice meeting you Locke and -?"

"Refia."

"and Refia." Rosa smiled and went towards the door. "I need to go now. My husband might get angry at me."

"_**And so with that, Locke and his sister Refia went to Belle's house to stay for the night**_." The lights went dimmed again for a change of the environment. Terra and the others went to the backstage for a breather.

"Man I'm so tired." Tidus removed the chocobo's head and exhaled very deeply. "This costume sure is not my size. It's so small and so tight."

"It's because it's supposed to be Cloud's but he got AWOL all of a sudden." Tifa shouted loudly to let Cloud clearly hear her from the very back.

"I was doing my job of putting the props on the stage." Cloud bluntly said and went to change for his appearance on the play. But in truth, he was actually doing everything he can to not wear that chocobo costume.

"Well it's already been done. Chop! Chop! On to the next scene!" Lightning intervened and ordered everyone to get back to work.

There was a sound of creaking door and footsteps from the stage. Firion, Onion Knight and Terra went to their places and proceeded on the next scene.

"Treat my house as your house. Don't be shy." Firion smiled and guided his guests inside. "Just be careful my friend's tends to break out a dance number every now and then."

"What?"

The lights went dimmed and a loud background noise can be heard from speakers of the auditorium. Everyone listened for a moment and caught up from the melody of the song. Everyone was laughing and finally got why Firion was named 'Belle'.

_Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!__  
__Get your worries off your chest__  
__Let us say for your entree__  
__We've an array; may we suggest:__  
__Try the bread! Try the soup!__  
__When the croutons loop de loop__  
__It's a treat for any dinner…._

Tidus, Cloud and Squall broke in for a song and sang the classic song of "Be Our Guest" to Terra and Onion Knight. After their dance number, Tidus stood in the center and introduced his self.

"I'm Lulu. I might look thin but I'm actually pregnant. My creators are just lazy to create a new model for me."

"I'm _Cloudko_….. I want to be Don Corneo's lady for this evening." Cloud introduced his self next while wearing his trademark silk dress, blond wig and diamond tiara.

After the two, the spotlight was then positioned to Squall. The background music stopped and everyone was waiting for Squall to say his dialogue. "I'm…" Squall paused and walked away. "I already did the dance routine. I don't want to do this shit."

Everyone from the backstage was shocked. Tidus and Cloud also took their leave and carried on. Lightning went to their side and scolded Squall. She scolded so loud that even the audience can hear her. Everyone just laughed and applauded for their display. Tifa, embarrassed from their doings, went to stop them and signaled Terra to continue.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You mustn't leave. I need you to break my curse. The rose has only few petals left. I beg of you!" Firion screamed with all of his might while the door closes and left him locked inside the manor.

"_**After the horrible stay at Belle's manor, Locke and his sister Refia left early in the morning to get away as soon as possible. They went back to the tavern to get their pet chocobo to continue their journey**_."

"Crap!" Lightning said from the backstage and called out Tidus, "Tidus! Hurry! You can still make it in time." Lightning pulled down his costume and threw him to the stage. However instead of throwing Tidus, Lightning only managed to throw the chocobo's head to the stage.

"KYAH!" Onion Knight screamed and fell down on the floor. The audience laughed and mocked Onion Knight's girly scream. Onion Knight's eye changed and smirked. He tried to remain in character and come up of an impromptu.

"Our….. pet… chocobo…. KYAH!" Onion Knight screamed again and threw the chocobo's head at the audience hitting the ones laughing at him. Onion Knight sniffed and shed fake tears. "I'm sorry big brother. I was so shocked. I didn't know what came over me."

Terra sighed and hugged Onion Knight. "It's okay. It's not your fault. You were just shocked as I am. _Luneth really need to control his anger._"

"_**Because of the sudden death of their pet chocobo they had no choice but to travel by sea. They went to the port and met a man named Faris. Locke asked Faris if he could let them ride his boat which Faris agreed**_."

"Traveling to find a wife eh?" Bartz said and grabbed his chin. "Good thing I don't need to think of things like that. As a man who lives in the sea, I don't need a woman by my side." Bartz raised his hands and confidently said.

A splashed of water then hit him, revealing a bra underneath his clothes. Terra and Onion Knight was shocked and speechless. Bartz hurriedly went to his cabin and hid there the entire time of their journey.

* * *

"So…." Penelo turned to her right and talked to her friend. "So Bartz is actually playing a girl who cross dress as a guy. Basically he is a boy portraying a girl who cross dresses as a boy."

"I don't even know what the plot of this play anymore." Penelo added and rubbed her aching forehead.

"At least it's funny though." Selphie reasoned out and took a couple of pictures. "What do you even expect on those guys anyway?"

"Sadly, I don't know what to expect."

* * *

"_**At last, they finally reached land. The kingdom that they are in now was rumored to be the place of the fairest maiden of all. Thinking that the fairest maiden of all is his destined soulmate, he set out to this land and tried to find her."**_

Screams and shouts from the girls in the audience were heard. They deduced that Zidane was the only one left. He was the fairest one of all. He was the princess that the prince will marry.

The stage was on its last preparation. It was the finale. The part they have all been waiting for. After all of those weeks of practicing, it will finally come to this. It has finally come to an end.

"Terra can you come here for a sec?" Lightning called out Terra from the backstage and asked a little favor from her. Everyone was busy preparing for the final scene that no one noticed the last minute replacement.

"This is the place, the place where I will meet my beloved wife." Terra said from center stage and acted out. She slowly stepped outside the stage and quickly made her way through the audience. The final scene was happening in the audience. Terra gently smiled and knelt. "Would you be my wife?"

The girls screamed and the people from the audience clapped. "Oh my! This is so sudden." Vice Principal Cosmos said and refused the offer. "I didn't know that I'm going to be part of the play."

"You are the fairest maiden of them all." Terra took her hands and kissed it. A few girls screamed and fall out of their seats. They can't believe that Terra can be a fine gentleman. She acted so professional.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Zidane slammed his wig from the ground and approached Terra. "What the hell is happening?! This wasn't on the script! Are you just going to leave me like that?"

"Lightning… told me to."

* * *

"_Terra can you come here for a sec?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_I just noticed Vice Principal Cosmos was on the audience. Could you change the ending and proposed to her instead?"_

"_What?" But what about Zidane?"_

"_He'll get over it."_

* * *

"That was great play." Aerith went backstage and greeted Cloud. "I never knew you had it in you, Cloud."

"Thanks…."

"Tifa, you are great too." Aerith turn to Tifa and gave her a handshake. "In fact everyone was great. I should have brought Zack as well. But he said he didn't appear in the Dissidia game so it was a violation."

"Hey no breaking of fourth wall!" Tidus peeked out from the curtains and glared at Aerith intensely. "I'm the only one who could pull that off perfectly."

"Excuse me how do you know who I am?" Tifa asked.

"Because you are from the same game." Tidus intervened and jokingly answered. He was one-sidedly fighting for his spot on breaking the fourth wall from Aerith.

"It was nothing. Don't bother about it." Cloud answered Tifa and took Aerith's hand and left the backstage. "I'm going to see her off."

* * *

"What a weird play."

"It is as if they were parodying some games that don't exist on this universe."

"It must be Tidus work. They were breaking the fourth wall the entire time."

* * *

"How was the play?" Gabranth scooted low and asked his company.

"Their acting was not good. I shouldn't have bought a ticket and instead wasted it on food."

[Author's Notes]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't kill me.

The play was a complete mess. It had no sense and I'm sure it wasn't that funny. Please if you're going to criticize please do it gently. OTZ

I thought since this story is for laughs maybe a play like this is okay but if you don't like it then I guess I'm a failure as a writer. You waited for this for so long yet this is what you will get. *SEPPUKU*

BTW, the song featured in the start is a OPM song. It was from the Philippines (Mabuhay ang mga Pinoy!). I thought that maybe I could promote our country's songs. Our musicians really do great ballads and mellow songs. Don't worry some of it are in English so you'll have no trouble on understanding it. The songs are so calming and full of meanings so I hope that you will listen to them.

**With A Smile** is performed by one of our countries greatest bands "**Eraserheads**". It also has a revival one sung by _**Aiza Seguerra**_.

Next UP: No Meeting Today


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